During our deal negotiations, the buyer's legal team has adopted an extremely aggressive, adversarial posture that is starting to destroy the trust we built with their executive team. How do we use the Trust Equation to re-center the relationship on personal connection and lower our perceived self-orientation before the transaction falls apart entirely?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When an acquisition negotiation turns highly adversarial, it is usually because both parties have allowed their self-orientation to spike, which completely erodes trust. According to the Trust Equation, trust is built on credibility, reliability, and intimacy, divided by self-orientation. To salvage the transaction, you must actively lower your self-orientation and re-focus the conversation on personal connection. Rather than exchanging hostile emails through your legal teams, schedule an offline, one-on-one meeting with the buyer's lead principal. Use the Trust Creation Process to reset the dynamic: engage them directly, listen to their underlying concerns without defensiveness, and openly frame the current tension. Clearly express that both teams are treating this as a zero-sum game, which is making everyone defensive and slowing down progress. Ask them what their core operational fears are post-close, and work together to envision a mutually beneficial solution. By showing vulnerability and a genuine focus on their interests, you dismantle their defensive posture and rebuild the personal connection that is essential for a successful transaction. This other-focused mindset transforms the relationship from a transactional battle into a collaborative partnership, allowing you to quickly resolve outstanding issues and close the deal on favorable terms.