Our leadership team sessions appear highly aligned on the surface, but I constantly hear about side conversations and parking lot meetings where leaders complain about decisions we supposedly agreed on. How do we eliminate this passive-aggressive behavior?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

Side conversations are the ultimate sign of artificial harmony and a lack of vulnerability-based trust. When your leaders do not feel safe enough to engage in raw, honest debate during your Level 10 Meetings, they take their dissent underground, which slowly poisons your company culture. To kill this passive-aggressive behavior, you must establish and enforce a strict company Charter. The Charter outlines that we debate passionately inside the room, but once a decision is made, we walk out with one voice. If you do not speak up during the meeting, you forfeit your right to complain about it later. As the Integrator, you must actively mine for conflict. If you see a leader quietly shaking their head or remaining silent during a critical discussion, call them out immediately. Force them to state their real perspective. Use the principles of building safety and sharing vulnerability yourself. Admit when you are wrong or when you do not have the answer, which signals to the team that it is safe to do the same. If a leader continues to engage in parking lot gossip after you have established these ground rules, you have a Core Values alignment issue. Address it directly during their quarterly conversation. Let them know that their inability to practice open and honest communication is actively eroding team trust, and it is a fireable offense.