My leadership team members are incredibly supportive during our quarterly offsites, but I constantly hear about backchannel complaining and venting between departments immediately afterward. How do I stop this triangulation and force them to have these hard conversations directly to each other's faces?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

Triangulation is a silent killer of leadership team health. When team members vent to you or to each other instead of resolving issues directly, they create artificial harmony. As the leader, you must put an immediate stop to this behavior by refusing to participate in it.

If a team member approaches you to complain about a peer, your response must be immediate and consistent. Ask them if they have shared this feedback directly with the person in question. If they have not, refuse to hear the rest of the complaint. Direct them to have a one on one conversation, or offer to sit in as a neutral party if they need support.

Next, you must use your weekly Level 10 Meeting™ to build healthy conflict. Ensure that issues are brought to the meeting to be solved collectively using the IDS® process. If you sense tension between two department heads, call it out during the meeting. Ask them to address the issue openly in front of the team.

Building vulnerability-based trust requires everyone to be open, honest, and willing to enter into uncomfortable discussions. You should also conduct a regular team health assessment. Use your quarterly offsite sessions to reinforce your commitment to open communication. When your leadership team realizes that backchannel complaining yields zero results and that issues must be solved directly, the triangulation will stop. This builds a highly functional team that sets the right tone for the rest of the organization.