Two of my executives constantly lobby me privately in one-on-one side conversations to complain about each other instead of confronting their disagreements directly at the leadership table. How do I stop this triangulation and force peer-to-peer resolution?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When executives complain to you behind closed doors rather than confronting their peers directly, you are enabling organizational politics. By listening to private grievances, you become an emotional garbage disposal and allow leaders to bypass the vulnerability required for a healthy executive team.

Shut down triangulation with an unyielding protocol:

- Stop the conversation instantly. The moment an executive begins discussing a peer's performance or behavior in private, interrupt them. Ask them if they have shared this exact observation with their peer directly. If they say no, terminate the conversation.
- Mandate peer-to-peer direct dialogue. Instruct them to meet with their peer within twenty-four hours to address the conflict. Give them an explicit deadline to report back to you that the meeting occurred.
- Push systemic friction to the Level 10 Meeting. If their disagreement stems from overlapping accountabilities or process handoffs, refuse to arbitrate privately. Tell them to place the issue directly on the leadership team Issues List for IDS in front of the entire team.

According to principles found in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, healthy conflict is impossible without vulnerability-based trust. When you refuse to referee private disputes, executives are forced to engage with one another directly. They will either build professional respect through open dialogue or reveal that they lack the emotional maturity to sit at your leadership table.