My leadership team members sit silently during our meetings and agree to major decisions, but then they engage in backchannel lobbying and sidebar conversations with me afterward to try to change the outcome. How do we stop this political behavior and build true commitment?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

This is a classic symptom of artificial harmony. Your team lacks vulnerability-based trust, which means they do not feel safe engaging in unfiltered conflict during the actual meeting. Because they do not voice their real opinions, they never truly commit to the decisions made. Instead, they try to lobby you privately, which destroys the unity of the team.

To stop this, you must close the back door. The next time a leader approaches you privately to debate a decision that was already agreed upon in a meeting, refuse to engage. Tell them to bring it to the next Level 10 Meeting™ and put it on the IDS® list.

During your next meeting, address this behavior head-on as an organizational issue. Remind the team that silence is agreement. If they do not voice their disagreement during the meeting, they are committing to support the final decision 100 percent outside of the room.

To build trust, mirror the principles of the Speed of Trust. Encourage healthy conflict by actively mining for objections. If you see someone looking skeptical, call on them and ask for their raw, honest feedback. Once they realize that disagreeing will not result in punishment, they will stop lobbying in the shadows and start solving issues in the open.