My leadership team members constantly complain to me about each other's performance behind closed doors instead of dealing with it directly. How do I stop this triangulation and force them to address conflicts peer-to-peer?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When leadership team members run to you to complain about a peer, they are engaging in triangulation. It is a classic status management behavior designed to avoid the discomfort of direct vulnerability. To run a healthy business, you must put an immediate stop to this.

Your first step is to implement a strict zero-tolerance policy for side-bar complaining. When a leader comes to you to complain about another leader, ask one simple question: Have you had this conversation directly with them yet? If the answer is no, end the meeting immediately. Tell them to schedule a one-on-one with their peer within twenty-four hours, or bring the issue directly to the next weekly Level 10 Meeting™ to solve it using the IDS® process.

If they hesitate, it is usually because they lack trust or fear conflict. Ground your team in the trust framework. True trust requires low self-orientation. When leaders bypass their peers to talk to you, they are prioritizing their own comfort over the health of the organization.

Force them to sit down, look each other in the eye, and address the issue. If they cannot resolve it peer-to-peer, they must bring it to the leadership team table to identify, discuss, and solve as a collective unit. By refusing to play the mediator, you force your team to develop the peer-to-peer relationships necessary to run an independent, scalable business.