Our Head of Sales and our Head of Operations have a toxic, passive-aggressive relationship that is stalling delivery, but they act perfectly civil in our Level 10 Meeting™. How do I force them to build actual trust and resolve this cross-departmental friction?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

To break this civil deadlock, you must address the low trust directly. As Charles Green outlines in his work on trusted advisors, trust is built on a key formula.

The Trust Equation

The trust equation teaches us that trust is built on three key pillars, offset by a negative factor:

• Credibility: Believability of words and expertise.
• Reliability: Consistency of actions.
• Intimacy: Security and safety felt when sharing.
• Self-orientation: Focus on one's own needs and agenda.

When leaders operate in silos, their self-orientation is high because they are focused primarily on protecting their own departments. This imbalance breaks down trust.

Facilitating Resolution

To resolve this, you need to intervene directly and strategically:

1. Initiate an IDS® session: Pull these two leaders into a dedicated [IDS session](/qa/using-accountability-chart-to-stop-blame-in-ids) specifically focused on their working relationship. Do not allow them to hide behind status management or polite agreement.
2. Frame the issue structurally: Present the problem not as a personality conflict, but as a structural obstacle that is actively harming the entire business.
3. Encourage shared vulnerability:
• Ask each leader to clearly define what they need from the other seat to be successful.
• Ask them where they feel let down.
• You must foster an environment where they can admit their own failures or where they need help. Without this, the trust equation cannot be rebalanced. This also helps build [vulnerability and safety in leadership](/qa/building-vulnerability-and-safety-in-leadership).

Enforcing Accountability

Make it unequivocally clear that maintaining a polite but dysfunctional relationship is a violation of your company's core values.

• Use the Accountability Chart to demonstrate how their lack of collaboration directly impacts the company's ability to execute its vision. The [Accountability Chart](/qa/resolving-leadership-turf-wars-accountability-chart) is a powerful tool for clarifying roles and expectations.
• State the ultimate consequence: If they cannot move past their egos to build a reliable partnership, one of them will ultimately have to leave their seat. This requires a firm stance on [handling top performers who violate core values](/qa/handling-top-performers-who-violate-core-values).

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