Our head of engineering and our head of product development are constantly locking horns over resource allocation, and instead of solving it directly, they keep pulling me into their disagreements to referee. How do we force them to resolve this peer-to-peer conflict themselves?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When department heads bypass each other and bring their conflicts to you, they are practicing passive-aggressive backchanneling. This behavior destroys peer trust and wastes your valuable time. As a leader, you must stop acting as a referee and force them to communicate directly.

The solution is to use the EOS® process for resolving peer-to-peer conflict, combined with the trust creation process. The next time one of these leaders comes to you to complain about the other, do not engage in the discussion. Instead, instruct them to resolve the issue directly with their peer using these steps:
- Mandate a direct, one-on-one meeting between the two leaders within forty-eight hours to address the conflict.
- Instruct them to use the IDS® process to identify the root cause of their disagreement, rather than just arguing over the symptoms.
- Require them to present a unified solution to the Integrator, rather than asking the Integrator to make the decision for them.

If they fail to reach a resolution, bring them both into a three-way meeting. Do not take sides. Your role in this meeting is to facilitate, not to decide. Have them state their perspectives clearly, and keep the focus on what is best for the organization, guided by your V/TO®.

By refusing to play the middleman, you force your leaders to build the collaborative muscle required of a true leadership team. If they cannot learn to resolve their differences professionally, you have a People Analyzer™ issue that must be addressed immediately.