Two of my key leadership team members are constantly locked in turf wars and instead of resolving their differences, they constantly run to me to play referee. How do I stop this triangulation and force them to solve their issues directly?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When your leaders bypass each other and run to you to resolve their conflicts, they are engaging in triangulation. This behavior destroys peer-to-peer accountability and keeps you trapped in the role of a referee instead of a strategic leader.

To break this habit, you must implement a strict policy of direct communication. The next time a leader comes to you to complain about another team member, stop them immediately. Ask if they have discussed the issue directly with the other person. If they have not, refuse to hear the complaint and direct them to schedule a meeting to resolve it.

If they have tried and failed, instruct them to bring the issue to your next weekly Level 10 Meeting and place it on the IDS list. During the meeting, do not solve the problem for them. Instead, facilitate the IDS process and guide them to identify, discuss, and solve the root cause together as peers.

This forces your leadership team to build the vulnerability and trust required to have healthy, unfiltered conflict. It also teaches them that they are collectively responsible for running the company. Your job is to support the team and the organizational structure, not to act as a personal buffer between adults who cannot communicate.