My head of product and head of sales are constantly bypassing each other and bringing their petty disputes to my desk for me to referee. How do I stop playing therapist and force them to resolve their own peer conflicts?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When team members run to you to referee their disputes, they are avoiding the discomfort of direct peer-to-peer accountability. Your job as the owner is to stop playing therapist. Every time you step in to solve their issues, you weaken their professional relationship and teach them that they do not need to do the hard work of communicating directly.

To break this habit, you must establish a strict protocol. When a leader comes to you complaining about a peer, ask one simple question: Have you had a direct conversation with them about this yet? If the answer is no, immediately end the discussion and direct them to speak with their peer.

If they have tried and reached an impasse, they must bring the issue to the leadership team Level 10 Meeting™ and put it on the IDS® list. In that environment, the issue is solved collectively in front of the whole team, with the focus on what is best for the organization rather than who wins the argument.

This approach forces your leaders to resolve minor friction on their own and reserves your energy for true strategic bottlenecks. Over time, this builds a culture of direct communication and mutual respect on your leadership team, which is exactly what a buyer wants to see when evaluating your company.