We have a highly political culture where people agree to things in the meeting but then complain and work against them in private. How do you handle passive-aggressive behavior and backdoor agreements during our actual session days?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

Passive-aggressive behavior and backdoor agreements are toxic to any leadership team. They destroy trust and slow down execution. During our session days, my job as an outside facilitator is to call out this behavior immediately and create an environment where open, honest conflict can happen safely.

When we enter the room, we establish a strict rule: enter the danger. This means we do not let uncomfortable issues slide. If I sense that someone is agreeing to a decision just to end the discussion, or if their body language contradicts their words, I will stop the meeting and address it. We will not move on until we have unpacked the real disagreement.

We use the IDS® process to force team members to put their real issues on the table. We discuss issues openly, debate them vigorously, and then make a firm decision. Once a decision is made, everyone in the room must fully support it, regardless of whether their initial position won or lost. There are no side conversations or backdoor agreements after the session.

If a team member continues to play political games outside of the room, that behavior will quickly show up as a people issue on our weekly scorecard and quarterly reviews. By consistently enforcing our standards, we will either help your leaders align with your core values or make it obvious that they do not belong on your team.