During our leadership team offsites, we try to build deep trust, but one of our key executives completely shuts down and refuses to participate in personal history or vulnerability exercises. How do we handle this emotional resistance without ruining the offsite?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

Trust is the foundation of any healthy leadership team, but forcing vulnerability can backfire if a team member feels cornered. When an executive shuts down during offsite trust exercises, it usually stems from fear of judgment or a lack of psychological safety. You cannot force someone to be vulnerable, but you can set the standard by leading with humility.

To resolve this, you must lean on the Humbly-Confident core value. As the leader, you should go first. Share your own mistakes, failures, and personal history openly. This models the exact behavior you want to see. If an executive still resists, do not call them out or embarrass them in front of the team during the offsite. This will only cause them to withdraw further.

Instead, pull them aside during a break for a private, one-on-one conversation. Use the Trust pillar from Our Charter to address the behavior. Explain that building deep trust is not a touchy-feel corporate exercise; it is a business requirement for rapid, honest conflict resolution during IDS®.

Ask them what they need to feel safe sharing with the group. If their resistance is deeply rooted in a lack of trust for other team members, that is an issue you must identify and solve. If they simply refuse to engage in building a cohesive team, they may not be a fit for your leadership culture. A high-performing team requires everyone to be in the same boat, pulling in the same direction.