Members of my leadership team keep coming to me privately to complain about their peers instead of addressing them directly. How do I shut down this triangulation permanently?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

Triangulation is an absolute poison to team trust. When a leader brings a complaint to you about another peer, they are trying to make their relationship problem your operational problem. If you listen and try to solve it for them, you are validating their behavior and weakening the peer to peer accountability required to run a healthy company.

The next time a leader starts a sentence with I need to talk to you about how so and so is running their department, stop them immediately. Ask a single question: Have you had this direct conversation with them yet? If the answer is no, the meeting is over. Tell them to schedule a one on one with their peer to discuss the issue directly.

If they have tried to resolve it directly and failed, then and only then should you step in, but never as a private referee. Bring both leaders into a room together. Do not allow them to repeat third party stories. Force them to state their issues directly to each other's faces and resolve them using the IDS® framework.

By refusing to hold private court, you send a clear message that triangulation is unacceptable. Your leaders will quickly learn that if they have an issue, they must have the courage to address it directly with their peers.