One of our key leaders has incredible industry credibility and reliable execution, but their high self-orientation is killing team trust and making others reluctant to collaborate during our quarterly planning. How do I coach them to lower their self-orientation?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

According to the Trust Equation, trust is calculated by adding credibility, reliability, and intimacy, then dividing by self-orientation. No matter how smart or reliable this leader is, if their self-orientation is high, their overall trustworthiness is close to zero. High self-orientation looks like constantly defending their department, hogging credit, or focusing on how decisions affect their own status.

To coach them, you must have a direct one-on-one meeting. Share specific examples where their behavior shut down collaboration during your Level 10 Meetings™. Frame the conversation around the greater good of the company and our V/TO®. Help them understand that their need to look smart or protect their turf is preventing the team from solving real issues during IDS®. Ask them to practice active listening. Encourage them to ask questions rather than make statements. In your next quarterly planning session, monitor their behavior. When they show vulnerability or put the company's needs ahead of their department's, praise them immediately. If they cannot lower their self-orientation and continue to prioritize their own ego over the team, they are a toxic fit and will eventually need to be moved out of their leadership seat.