Our leadership team is highly polite and agreeable during our Level 10 Meetings, but I know there is deep disagreement under the surface because projects keep failing. How do we break through this polite facade to build real trust and healthy conflict?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

When a leadership team is overly polite, it is a clear sign of artificial harmony, which is driven by a lack of trust. Your team members are practicing status management. They are more concerned with protecting their own standing and avoiding discomfort than they are with getting to the truth. This is highly dangerous, especially if you are preparing for a clean exit where execution must be flawless. To break through this facade, you must actively build safety and force vulnerability. As the leader, you have to go first. Admit your own mistakes, share your weaknesses, and ask for help during your meetings. This signals to the team that it is safe to be imperfect. Next, you must demand healthy conflict. During your Level 10 Meetings™, when a critical issue is on the IDS® board, do not let the team off the hook with quick, polite nods. If you sense someone is holding back, call them out directly. Ask them what they really think and push them to disagree. This is called mining for conflict. When team members finally share their true feelings and the world does not end, they realize that healthy debate is safe and productive. Remind them of our core value of being Open and Honest. Real trust is not about everyone liking each other; it is about knowing you can voice a dissenting opinion without fear of retaliation. Once your team experiences the relief of solving a tough issue through passionate, honest debate, the artificial harmony will crumble, and your execution will soar.